A Daughter's Instinct
by nofearonlylove
Summary: It was hard to feel anything when it felt like the other half of you was so far away. Without Red, Nicky didn't feel like a whole person anymore. Red/Nicky post the S2 episode "It Was the Change". Please R&R! ONESHOT.


**AN: This saga of events for Red/Nicky takes place just after the Season 2 episode "It Was the Change". I wanted to explore Nicky having to deal with the aftermath of Red's attack, and the reunion that took place when she came back from the medical unit. If you like this story, I would love a review! XOXO - E**

Nicky didn't like the silence. Well, as silent as it could get here in Litchfield. By silence, she meant the absence of Red's easily identified voice. That accent traveled for miles. Nicky could hear it, it seemed, from anywhere in the prison. The laundry room, electrical, the garden, the suburbs, the cafeteria. It didn't matter. Nicky could always hear her as soon as she opened her mouth, no matter what. It was home to her. Red made her feel like she had a home here.

But it had been almost three hours since she had heard that voice. Nicky didn't like it. She was starting to worry. She hadn't seen Red or heard her in hours, and neither it seemed, had anyone else in the prison.

At one point, she looked over at where Suzanne, Taystee, Vee and the others were sitting in the cafeteria, and she thought she saw a smirk on Vee's face. Tastee kept her head down, and Suzanne was trying to look anywhere but at her. Something about this wasn't right. Nicky got the chills all of a sudden.

Something was wrong. The silence was deafening to her. Where was Red? She suddenly got up and stalked outside, grabbing both Lorna and Norma on her way out. Once they were outside, she told them to help her look for Red. No one had seen her, and Nicky just knew that something horrible had happened.

Call it a daughter's instinct.

They split up at first, asking everyone if they had seen Red, asking if they knew where she had gone. No one had any answers, and Nicky couldn't understand it. Red was a dominant figure here. Everyone knew where she was, who she was, what she was doing, at all times it seemed.

Nicky was starting to panic. She just needed to hear her voice. Somewhere, _anywhere._

And then she looked up, to her right, and realized that she hadn't even thought to check the greenhouse. How stupid could she be? Red was in there a lot. She and Nicky had some wonderful talks in there, and moments, and it was just _her_ spot.

She rushed to the greenhouse with Lorna and Norma hot on her heels. When Nicky yanked the door open and walked in, what she saw inside would haunt her for the rest of her days.

Blood. So much blood. Red. Red's blood. Nicky immediately ran to her, fearing the worst. She had gashes in her face, in her head. Her eyes were closed. She was lifeless. She could hear Lorna, who had started to cry, almost screaming hysterically. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Norma, who suddenly grabbed Lorna's hand and yanked her out of the building, so they could get help.

But to Nicky, it was as if the world had stopped. She knelt down beside Red and with shaking fingers, touched her neck to feel for a pulse. When she felt one, she burst into tears. She was _alive_. She gently tapped her left cheek, the one seemingly uninjured, to try to get her to open her eyes. "Red? Red come on, wake up!"

There was so much blood. Who had done this? Who could have hurt her so badly? "Please...Red, don't do this. Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened? Come on...Red? Ma? Mommy, please! Open your eyes, open your eyes for me, please!"

Seconds ticked by, but they seemed like an eternity to Nicky. And then she saw it, she saw Red's eyelids flutter, just a little bit. And Nicky knew, she was conscious again, even if it was only going to be for a minute or two. "That's it. That's it. You're a tough son of a bitch, aren't you? It's okay. I'm here. It's Nicky, Ma. I'm right here. Help is coming..."

Red opened her eyes, and looked up at Nicky. She was obviously in agony, and Nicky was speaking in soothing tones. Red managed to lift up her hand, and her fingers touched Nicky's hair. Her sweet girl. If she died, she wanted to remember her. "Nic..."

Nicky gasped. "Who did this? Who did this to you!?" She could hear Caputo's voice coming closer. "It's okay, Ma. It's okay. They'll make you better and I'll see you soon." She reached down to kiss the back of her hand. "I love you."

Red blinked at her, as if willing Nicky to understand that she loved her, too. Nicky smiled through her tears. "I know. I've always known. Help is coming, okay?"

When Nicky heard Red's voice again, it sounded so far away, so unlike herself. "O...kay." Nicky wanted to scream. She was angry, but mostly terrified. Red was hurt badly. What if...? She refused to think about it, and before she can anything more, Caputo and Healy rushed in, and a medic team soon followed.

Nicky was forced away from Red, but she couldn't just leave her. "Is she going to be okay?" No one was answering her. "Please, I know this looks bad but she is going to be okay, right? She better be okay!"

Caputo sighed heavily and put his hand on Nicky's shoulder. "Nichols, listen. This looks bad. I know it does. And I'll let ya know if I hear anything about her condition, okay?"

Nicky nods, and her eyes narrow in defiance. "You keep her alive. You hear me? She may just be an inmate to you, but to me she is _everything_."

She could feel Lorna's comforting hand on her shoulder then, could hear her sniffles. She turned around and Lorna threw her arms around her. But Nicky couldn't cry. She felt numb. When she closed her eyes, all she saw was the look in Red's eyes, the fear she saw behind them. She believed she was dying. Nicky refused to believe that. Red would be fine.

She had to be fine.

The days passed by at an agonizing pace. All Nicky had been told was that Red was alive, she was talking, she knew who everyone was, and that the Sister and her were sharing a room. While this relieved Nicky, the absence of Red was taking its toll on her. She wouldn't believe that Red was okay until she saw her with her own eyes.

In her haze of worry and anger, she had confronted the person she, and everyone else in the prison believed, had done this to Red. She had cornered Vee in the bathroom, and threatened her. It was a stupid move, because nothing scared that woman. In retaliation her minions began taunting her, shoving her against walls, stalking her in electrical. Stupid things that should have gotten to her, but didn't. It was hard to feel anything when it felt like the other half of you was so far away. Without Red, Nicky didn't feel like a whole person anymore. Red was her backbone, and without a backbone you couldn't stand straight, or walk.

Nicky was walking without a backbone. She missed her mother. She needed her to come back. Norma and Lorna stayed close to her, protected her. But all Nicky wanted was to hear Red's voice again. Hearing that voice only when her nightmares came just wasn't the same.

On the 9th day, Red finally came back.

There was excitement in the kitchen, and everyone welcomed Red back. When Nicky realized Red was back, she practically ran to the kitchen, but stopped dead in her tracks when she finally caught sight of the Red-haired woman who had changed her life.

Red turned around, and her eyes filled when she saw her. Nicky went to her and gently put her arms around her, and they hugged, just for a moment. Nicky could feel herself starting to break down, and she couldn't do that here. Not with everyone watching. They would have their moment together later. She pulled back and looked at Red, wincing at the sight of the scar below her right eye. A scar that marked as a permanent reminder of that horrible day. "You okay, Ma?"

Red nodded, and gently grabbed her chin. "Course I am, Malyshka."

Nicky could feel her eyes begin to swim with tears. _Red was back. She was back and she was whole and she was alive._ "Good. I'll...we'll talk later?"

Red just nods, and their moment is interrupted when Mendoza is suddenly behind Red, "Mami! You are back! That bitch got what she deserved, did you hear..." And she was pulling Red away. Nicky just smiled and watched, catching Red looking back at her from over her shoulder. She waved, and then she realized she couldn't stay there any longer. It was so overwhelming to see Red again. The last time she had seen her, she looked like death. Nicky had been walking around Litchfield with a chip on her shoulder all week, but now that Red was back, and she was okay, she could feel her resolve slipping and like hell was she going to show any weakness in front of anyone.

So she left the room and walked the 15 paces it took to get to Red's "office". She unlocked the gate and walked in, and she sank down on one of the chairs. She took deep breaths, and through the silence she had been hearing for the last 9 days, she finally heard it. Red was talking, and laughing, and engaging with everyone. She took deep, calming breaths. _Red is okay, Nicky. Red is back, she didn't leave you. She's here. Get a grip._

Getting a grip was easier said than done. She sat there, for a long time, and then suddenly, she felt a familiar, comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Red staring down at her, concern in her eyes. Nicky suddenly tore her eyes away, but she reached up and grabbed onto Red's hand. She closed her eyes tightly, and she began to shake. "Tell me that you're okay, that this isn't a dream. Please, Red. Please!"

Red squeezed her hand and bent down, kissing the top of Nicky's head lovingly. "I'm here, Nicky. I'm here and I am okay. I promise you."

Nicky shook her head. "I thought you...there was so much blood and for a second, maybe two, I thought...this is it. She's gone. Red is gone and I'm alone...again."

Red shook her head. "Nicky, stop. I am not leaving you, not anytime soon. Look at me."

Nicky looked up at her, and Red pulled her up off of her chair, and pulled her into her arms. "This is better, hmm?"

Nicky can only nod, and when she takes a deep breath, a heart-wrenching sob escapes her lips, and Red gasps. Nicky manages to take a couple more deep breaths before she is able to speak again. "I missed you...I was so worried. Caputo wouldn't tell me much and I just...needed to make sure you were okay. I never saw you like that before, Ma. It scared me. It scared me more than anything."

Red closes her eyes and lets her own tears fall down her cheeks. "I know. I know...shhh...just let me hold you like this for a little while, okay?"

Nicky can only nod. If Red never let go of her, it would be just fine with her.

 **FIN.**


End file.
